Calvin is having a hard time while teething, or possibly while just being two years old, in dealing with emotions. He also isn’t one of those compliant kids that follows a group. This means that during play ball class he won’t copy what the group is doing and I have to go out there, the only parent doing it, and guide him into the behaviours the class are performing. When it is circle time at the play center, he will go in voluntarily now (yay!) and sit mostly quiet for all the songs and part of the story, but only if I let him take a toy that he has been playing with. He’s the only kid with a toy at circle. Not supposed to do that because the theory goes that then all the kids will want a toy at circle. But for the sake of peace and Calvin’s cooperation, we bring a toy.
Now imagine if I didn’t give a shit what other people thought. Imagine if I didn’t care or notice or acknowledge the looks from other parents, the comments. During our let’s pretend life – Calvin would be a happy kid generally cause I was making easy concessions for him to help him cope with transitions and group settings where he may not be perfectly comfortable. Now – don’t get me wrong – I already do this. He gets comforting from me and his comfort object. But the difference is I pay attention to the stigma of my parenting choice instead of just letting it go.
Now, let’s play a horrible and sad game. Let’s imagine that you no longer had your child. That they died suddenly and unexpectedly. None of that bullshit about people looking at you sideways at circle would matter. If your kid did some crying and screaming fits every time you tried to leave the play group, it would not have mattered. What matters is that your child is alive. That you get to see his smile every day. That you hear him say Momma and melt with a warmth previously believed to be impossible, until his little life came into being.
So, let’s try to live the happy imagined life of one where we just don’t acknowledge the opinions of others and just enjoy with full gratitude every day that we get to spend with our little people.